purpose and practice

IMG_1209How many times has someone asked me, “What’s you purpose?”
“What do you really want in life?”

As someone who leads dreams and goals to others I feel like I should have the answers.  I should know what I want and I should have a clear vision, right?
Wrong! And it’s OK! You do not have to know everything in the future now.

I used to have a very clear vision of how I saw my self in 10 years.  My five year was in sight, and I was striving towards my one year.
And then shit hit the fan.

When I was 25, I made a huge life-changing decision: I moved across the country, away from my entire family and my closest friends, I gave up my job, and I dove head first into a deep relationship, to start a brand new life in a new city.

I was anxious and it was difficult to make some of these choices, but it didn’t matter because in that moment I was following my heart, I was excited and I was passionate.  I had no idea what was coming but I was thriving off new experiences and the unknown.

And then I failed!
I FAILED!

Walls around me came tumbling down and I was alone.

For a few months I hid.  I was 27 I was alone in a big city with very few close friends. In my mind it was too late to start over, but I also knew I couldn’t revert back to my old lifestyle in the south and I definitely couldn’t continue with this negative snowball effect of events surrounding me.

So I did what I needed to, and after a little time I made yet another big decision:
I started over again. 

For the past five years I have been given a gift.
A gift of a new life, a new job: a job that pushes me, opens my eyes, and challenges me.  This job supports me, it gives me opportunities I may not have otherwise found. It gives me space to be creative and let me try, TRY things on without judgment and this creates some of the most beautiful learnings I can truly discover for myself

Self-doubt.

Lack of confidence.

Fear of judgment.
Anxiety.
Excitement.
Passion.
Hope.
Connection

Those are just a few of the emotions I had walking into this retreat.

I won’t spoil it for my peers who will eventually journey through the same experience, but I can tell you I’m walking out with a brand new perspective.

I practiced: a lot!
Yoga, Meditation, Silence, No phone or social media.
I disconnected and let go.

I found myself.  I found the purpose. My PURPOSE.
I feel the love, the joy, the possibility.  And I want to spread the word.

I also coached, I listened, I shared, and I connected.
We exercised (alot), both physically [burpees, lunges, squats, dancing, yoga] and mentally.

We listened to shared stories from others, we laughed, we cried, and in the end we became one. [#Unity]
225 people and I could look every single one of them in the eye and really feel the love.

I am here to be an inspiration for those who need it and those who want it.

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